What It Really Feels Like Cancelling Your Wedding During a Pandemic

6/6/20 was our day. We physically walked through close to 30 venues. Spent 5 months trying to decide where our perfect spot would be. We didn’t want anything too extravagant and where we would be paying the majority of it, we also didn’t want to start our lives together in debt (who does?). We got engaged in October 2018, moved to Maine in June 2019, and began our search shortly thereafter.

Our wedding date should have been in 36 days. I had literally dreamt of this day since I was a little girl with my barbies (totally clichè right?). I remember wearing a tiara around my house envisioning myself getting married (probably to that cute older kid that was at my babysitter’s house). After dating for 5 years (I literally knew I wanted to marry him after 5 or 6 months so this felt like an eternity), it still came as a surprise when we decided to get engaged. Actually I’m pretty sure I bawled my eyes out because I was so happy and surprised.

Needless to say, I’ve been envisioning and waiting for my Wedding day for a really really long time. June 6th sounded like the perfect day- I mean who can forget 6/6/20 as their Anniversary date? I would have just turned 30, Alex just turning 37, it was a Saturday - everything was falling into place. I already found my Wedding dress last summer (for $50!), so a summer wedding fit it perfectly.

Invitations were mailed out, we began to make plans. We met with Florists, DJs, Photographers, made down-payments on all of them. Then, the Coronavirus hit us all hard.

In the beginning, I had trouble envisioning it affecting our wedding (it was only early March- how could this last that long?). Then, others around us started to cancel or rebook their Wedding date and it broke my heart to imagine that becoming a reality. I had all of my outfits picked out for the weekend- I couldn’t wait for the morning-after brunch! I envisioned our pizza buffet during the reception. I couldn’t wait to stay in our fancy manor for the weekend with amazing mountain views. Now, those dreams were slowly fading away.

I’m working as an LNA during these times and getting my degree to become an RN in August, so I’m certainly fairly practical when it comes to envisioning the impact that the virus can have on us here in Northern New England. I’m not on the frontlines, but I am in a long-term care facility right now and have heard enough conversations to know that holding a large event in early June is not a good decision. This reality crushed me.

We talked of postponing our wedding, but how can we really know what things will look like in the next 7 or 8 or 12 months? It would be awful to set a new date and then have to reschedule it again. Also, I had been dreaming of June 6th for months (and before a date was even set- I’ve been dreaming of this day for decades). I knew we couldn’t ask family or friends to travel or choose not to come to our Wedding, so we ultimately decided to cancel. We lost our deposits, money that we had scrounged up during an already very tight time (I’m going back to school full-time and we are currently relying on basically one income to take care of all our bills, animals, and home).

We ultimately decided to still get married on June 6th. We’re holding a small elopement at a family member’s home overlooking the river. Our immediate family will be there (7 people), but I’m anticipating most either won’t get out of their car or will stay a social distance away. My mom became an ordained minister so she can legally marry us since our original one can no longer come. Our photographer will still be there, so we’re thankful for that. We won’t be able to hug our parents after saying ‘I Do’. Maybe we can do take-out and sit in a giant circle after the ceremony, but it really depends on what things look like a month from now. We’ll have our first dance, not on a floor overlooking the White Mountains, but in a field along the river on our cellphones probably (thank goodness for technology these days). We’ll share our vows with each other and stream the ceremony on Zoom for all those who were invited can feel like they’re taking part in it with us.

It’s not the same and it’s not what any of us envisioned, but we’re making do. In the midst of uncertainty, it’s nice to know that June 6th will still be our special day.

When To Replace Your Shoes?

I’ve had my fair share of running injuries over the years- Achilles Tendonitis, Shin Splints, Plantar Fasciitis, Some weird Inner-Arch-of-My-Foot-Pain. Though all of my running set-backs, I’ve learned how important it is to replace your running shoes! I actually now rotate through my running shoes each week. I went crazy and purchased around 6 different pairs before running the MS Run The US and am still working my way through them. I think that it’s really helped me to not wear the same sneaker two days in a row. I’m distributing the wear & tear on the shoes (so I’m extending their life) and also distributing my foot stride/strike since I’m wearing different shoes on each run! So, how can you tell when it’s time to replace your shoes?

1. Try to keep a log of your shoes.

   This can get kinda challenging when you add in multiple shoes into your rotation, but for a long time I kept a log of each run that I would do and what shoes I was wearing. Although I’ve since stopped the log, I still have a general idea of what shoes have A LOT of miles on them and what shoes might still have a few 100 miles on them. Normally the rule of them is that a new pair of running shoes can take you between 300-500 miles. I actually get MORE out of most of my shoes (I find that speed work shoes, like my beloved Launches, have less support so I don’t get more than ~400 miles out of them) because I swap the soles out for Superfeet when I hit around 300 miles in them.

2. Take note when you feel ‘off’ after your run

Normally if I feel any sort of weird aches or pains after a run, I’ll go straight to what shoes I was wearing. I might feel like my achilles is a bit tighter, my plantar fasciitis could start acting up, or my ankles are just sore. Maybe it was the run or the terrain I was on, but I always like to factor in my shoes. For example, I had a treadmill run a few months ago where I was just doing some easy miles and immediately got a weird pain in my shin -> I was wearing a pretty old pair of shoes and decided that it was time to retire them. I haven’t had any sort of pain like that since then.

3. Look at the bottom of your shoes

Take a look at the tread of your shoes. This can tell you A LOT about where your weight is when you land (is it in the middle? off to one side? do you have multiple wear spots?) and also how does the tread look? If it’s worn down to nothing compared to other parts of your tread, then it might be time to consider investing in a new pair of shoes. There are a few of my shoes that I’ve recently noticed have almost no tread in my forefoot striking area -> I’ve ordered 3 new pairs of shoes!

4. Take a look at your insole.

I pull mine right out of the shoe and look inside to see where there is ‘less life’. Is one part smashed right down or does it look pretty even throughout the entire sole? Mine normally start to squish down near the pad of my foot, which tells me that it’s time to retire them.

5. If your new shoe doesn’t give you anything -> time to retire

So what do I mean by ‘not give you anything’? I mean LOTS OF THINGS! Does it no longer give you excitement when you pop it on? Does it no longer feel like it’s providing you with support/ spring/energy/return when you run in them? Do they feel like you’re weighed down more than you used to feel (new shoes should always feel like you’re on springs, but really worn out shoes -> I feel like I’m ‘stuck in mud’ on my runs)?

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So, when do you replace your shoes?

How many shoes do you currently have in your rotation?

When was the last time you got some new pairs?

I just ordered three new pairs (thank you Birthday gifts ; ) …)- Launches (for speedwork), Caldera (for trails), & Ghosts (for everyday road runs). I’ll donate the oldest pairs of my shoes and will work towards getting another pair of the Ghosts and probably another gore tex trail runners because you never know when it might be snowy/rainy/muddy on race day!

7 Things

We’re still working through the donut-shaped birthday cake. Still not sick of it.

We celebrated my Birthday on Friday night since I worked until 10pm on Thursday (my original Birthday). We got all dressed up in what-would-have-been our Wedding Rehearsal dinner outfits and picked up Italian take-out from the BEST restaurant (Vito’s in North Conway if anyone ever goes there-amazing). Ate it while playing Italian playlist on Amazon Music and a glass of wine. Also- split the cannoli and tiramisu for dessert. So so good. Also it just felt really good to ‘put on real clothes’ even if we were just going to be in the car!

We’ve been keeping a few extra boxes out on the porch for the cats and apparently Maple approves? e

I have finals next week so did mostly studying this past weekend and making up a bunch of notecards. One of my classes has over 250 slides for a non-cumulative last exam= a whole lotta notecards.

We also picked up a bunch of paint to do our living room, kitchen, and bathroom (& maybe laundry room). We’ve been putting off getting paint for weeks now, but I got to Lowe’s basically right as they opened on Sunday morning and was the first in line (so not as bad as we were originally thinking)! We’ve also been doing a grocery run every 2 weeks so it’s been nice to know that we don’t have to go this week.

Alex got two of our garden boxes put together and I think they look great. Woodworking definitely is not my area of expertise so I’m thankful that he’s able to do these! Can’t wait for fresh veggies in a few months.

I had one of the best long runs I’ve had in a while yesterday. It was pouring rain, windy, and 37*, but it was awesome. I ran on the bike path so I wouldn’t have to deal with any cars (it’s also flatter) and did: 3 mile warm-up/ 3 miles @ 7:45 (7:46 actual)/ 3 miles @ 7:30 (7:33 actual)/ 3 miles down. Also started a new round of strength exercises yesterday and figured out my route that I’m going to be running my 26.2 mile run next month which is exciting!

Typical, Very Excited, Currently Doing This A lot

It’s raining here and wow, do I love the sound of the rain on the tin roof. It’s probably one of my favorite sounds. That and a good coffeehouse playlist on Spotify really help get me motivated to get some work done. It’s actually pretty hilarious how little I’ve blogged since starting school and especially since this quarantine. I keep saying that I want to make regular appearances on here again and then….IDK. I find lack of motivation? lack of inspiration? other priorities? All of the above maybe. I started to create a schedule for myself today and honestly I’ve been the most productive today than I’ve been since this whole craziness started. Dare I say that maybe I’ve found my ‘secret sauce’?!? I just ordered my 100 miler sweatshirt and they’re shipping it to me so yay for something to look forward to! The sweatshirts are extra that you can purchase and all the proceeds go towards helping them upgrade their equipment (last year they did hats and ordered an Atrial Defibrillator for the race, which I think is so awesome). I also just forgot how to add photos to my post, so I guess that’s where we are on blogging level again.

I’m starting a ‘mini-taper’ before my ‘Sugarloaf Marathon’ at-home edition. I ran 16 miles yesterday and the middle miles were supposed to be at tempo pace, but they were a bit slower than I would’ve liked. Still happy to be training and giving it my best. Some days just are not great and you just need to accept it and move on.

I guess this is typical attire at work now. Wearing masks for an entire 8.5 hour shift with just 30 minutes to take a break (for meals) is really challenging. I get super hot in them and my face is definitely breaking out all over the place because of them. Such fun times. At least we’re protecting our patients though.

We’ve been baking up a storm over here and these Vegan Brownie cookies (recipe on Pinterest) were AMAZING. Like, devoured in 3 days. Ha.

Saw this playlist and thinking that we will definitely need one of these songs for our Wedding dance- right?

I’m very excited to be back running on our Rail Trail! I ran there last week early and was the only one on it. Can’t wait to take my bike on it again!

I’ve been doing a lot of wine and reading lately. Which I typically never finish a glass of wine (neither does Alex), so really just mainly doing a lot of reading for fun lately. It’s been SO nice!

It’s also been so nice to be getting out more with Alex and just going for walks or hikes or hanging out together more. Anyone else finding that they’re spending more quality time together with their significant other?

9 days left of my Spring Semester and then 3 finals. I cannot believe I’ll be done in AUGUST!

View from this mornings run before the rain came in. It WAS beautiful out. I just love running in 30-degree morning weather- anyone else??

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-Favorite kind of weather to run in?

-What have you been doing with your extra ‘down time’ lately? We’ve been doing a mix of household projects, reading, lounging, and getting some extra sleep

-Are you a ‘schedule’ type of person or not so much?

7 Things

I’m here and wow has a lot changed after just a few weeks! I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to April, but honestly feeling a bit lost because there is no longer much to look forward to until at least the beginning of May (which we honestly know will be extended even further than that). My classes have all switched to online - my clinicals are ending early/switching to online as well. We’re changing our Wedding date. I’m assuming that my next races in May will be canceled. My first 7 weeks of Summer classes are online. I’m feeling thankful that Alex still gets to work 16 hours a week (& gets paid something) & that I’ve started my job as an LNA at the local hospital here. My fitness is continuing to improve. I have more time to spend doing work around the house, baking, and reading (for fun)! I’m also driving a lot less, so happy to reduce down my carbon footprint/ use less gas. I’m journaling more (which has honestly really helped me stay thankful in this time of uncertainty).

I guess I’m sharing all this so that maybe you feel less alone (if you’re feeling the same way I am). We could all use some positivity lately, so here are 7 positive things that have happened to me over the past few days:

Ran 18 miles at an easy pace

Baked some peanut butter cookies (no butter/ used coconut sugar rather than butter)

Updated my half marathon PR time on my medal hanger

Planted our garden veggies and are starting to grow them indoors. We’re also going to lay out our garden beds (once it stops raining again)- Alex’s birthday gift to me (can you believe I turn 30 next month?!?)

Extra time for kitty snuggles

Finished my 3rd book of 2020 - this one was SO good (highly recommend)

Free Nuun delivery for us healthcare workers 🧡

—————————————————————————Alright - your turn! Tell me 7 things you’re grateful for right now: